Metamorphosis

There was once a time I didn't really feel I was very special or remarkable in any way. I felt like my body was too pudgy to be attractive and I felt that I wasn't particularly pretty or charming. I wasn't very healthy let alone being any kind of strong. Now, I look back on that image I once held of myself and laugh. I laugh because it isn't even close to true. It wasn't true then and it isn't true now, nor will it ever BE true. I laugh at the astonishing ignorance of all of those statements yet how they have guided the course of my life. But for all the sadness I inflicted upon myself with those self-sabotaging beliefs, the scars help form the woman I am today. I am transformed.

I was finishing up my senior year of college at the University of Maine when everything changed. I remember walking across campus to get to class when suddenly I choked up and began to sob uncontrollably. Right there on the quad in front of the library. Huge tears and choking sobs I couldn't contain came rolling out and at the time I swear to you I had NO idea why. This would happen almost every day and I came close to missing an entire month of classes before I sought help. Together with my therapist's help, I began to deal with all the sadness and confusion of my youth (daughter of an alcoholic father) that was literally crying to get out and dealt with. Years of turmoil, both repressed and suppressed, were fighting their way to the surface of my consciousness. Most days I had a very hard time sitting still for any length of time; I was always antsy and agitated from a mind gone wild.

So one day I went for a run.

Mind you, I had NEVER gone for a run. I got about fifty feet that first time I think. Then I walked for a while. My body started to relax now that it had an outlet for the pent up energy and my mind started to feel on track. Then I ran again, then walked. So on and so on. I can still recall the first time I ran the entire one mile stretch of the road I lived on. I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't realized I ran the whole way. I started jumping up and down and cheering out loud for myself: it was a complete rush like I'd never experience before! Soon after that I began running more, doing 5k races and even joining a gym. Thus my new "fit" life was born.

So when was it that I was transformed? Was it the moment that I first stepped out the door to go for a run? Or maybe it was when I had my first session with a personal trainer and thought, "holy shit this is the job for me!" I like to think it was every time I made a healthy choice. Every time I chose to go for a run in the woods with the sole purpose of getting emotions out (I'd run so hard I couldn't suppress anything anymore and I'd end up bawling). Every time I chose to eat a healthy meal. Every time I chose to throw away any negative self talk I transformed a little more.

Nowadays I'm a completely changed woman. But I don't look that different then I did back then, I'm still recognizable as myself. It's been ten years of progress and this whole time I've been slowly changing. My metamorphosis wasn't literally me turning INTO a different person. A butterfly isn't born overnight, it is through a long series of smaller changes that this amazing little critter eventually changes from an egg into a butterfly. Instead little by little, it was the relationship between my body and my mind that changed.

I am no longer that same scared little self-saboteur I once was. I no longer bully my own self just because the world feels out of control. I have learned that all of it, all of the power, is within me. All I have to do is be me, accept me and let the phenomenal symbiosis of mind and body crush any trouble that gets in my way! Of course sometimes I still get scared but now I use that fear as a motivator. When I feel fear I know it's a road sign telling me I'm getting close to the edge of my comfort zone. And that edge is EXACTLY where I need to be so that I can do the most good for myself and for the world.

So every time I chose to go for a run, every time I chose to deal with my problems, every time I chose to run a little faster a little longer, every time I choose not to put the barbell down, and every single time I choose not to give up I am giving myself bigger and brighter wings.

I would LOVE to hear your stories of transformation! I will be compiling them and putting together a series of motivational stories! Please please email them to me at chalkandchi@gmail.com!

Much love,

Michelle

Macronutrients: How Many Are There?

There are three. But let me explain how this came up and why the not-so blanket term "carbs" bugs me like mad!

If you don't know already, I'm an assistant coach at my CrossFit but also spend some morning hours personal training some clients out of a local mini-globo gym. So I am in a unique position to witness the CrossFit/Paleo trickle down effect to the mainstream populace. I also get a daily reminder of how pervasive the "Common Wisdom" and misinformation regarding fitness and nutrition is.

I was at a friend's baby shower this weekend with a bunch of people I'd only met briefly once. There came a moment of dietary disclosure when one woman mentioned all the healthy foods she'd "O.D.ed" on the night before. She said she ate far too much broccoli, cauliflower, beans, tofu, etcetera etcetera. [Now if you are of the Paleo persuasion you will agree with her that any bean or amount of tofu is too much. So it's no wonder to us why she felt so ill.] All the while the hostess' coworker was sitting in the corner listening to this conversation about this "health food gluttony": it was just then that she was introduced to the conversation as an eater of "zero carbs". For a brief moment I thought that there was a Primal girl sitting there on the couch and I got a little excited! I thought, oh my gosh, has the information reached this far that I'm meeting Primals at baby showers?

As soon as she was introduced to us this way, I too was introduced to her as also "eating funny". I was asked what I ate and I mentioned, "no grains, corn, beans, rice, flour, things like that" to keep it simple. She stared at me with her mouth open. "So," she said slowly, "what do you eat then?" Odd question I thought, still thinking we were on the same page. I replied, "meat, vegetables and some fruits, occasional nuts and seeds." At the mention of fruit she stiffened right up and nobly pronounced, "oh I don't do fruit."

Then like a movie script she popped a grape tomato in her mouth and asked the hostess if she had managed to grab her protein pudding out of her office desk like she'd asked her to. Protein Pudding? Zero carb protein pudding? Now that can't be real food. Okay, NOT the same page at all...not even the same BOOK!

So this is how I got on this tangent about the not-so blanket term "carbs" that people are throwing around. So first let us look into the issue of a person that states she doesn't eat "carbs" and so doesn't "do fruit" yet eats tomatoes. In case you don't see what I see right away I will point it out. Tomatoes ARE a source of carbohydrates. There seems to be a disconnect here, so here are the short sweet basics.

There are only THREE macro-nutrients. Count them with me:
1) Protein
2) Fats
3) Carbohydrates

The list does NOT go:
3) Carbohydrates (pasta, cookies, doughnuts, breads)
4) Fruits and Vegetables
5) Frankenfoods (zero-carb pudding, skinny cow ice creams, zero-calorie ketchup, fat-free mayo etc)


Whether it's a grain, a sugar syrup (maple, honey, corn syrup, HFCS), a tomato, a doughnut, or an orange it is a carbohydrate. Period. Simple as that. Well, okay, maybe not THAT simple. Most foods actually contain some combination of all three macro-nutrients (nuts are an awesome example of that).

But what I'm getting at is that I don't want you to use the term "carbs" and use it to ONLY mean grains and sugar. It's misleading to you, to me, and helps you feed your sugar addiction by allowing you to eat zero-carb frankenfoods thinking, "oh the label says there's no carbs in this, so it's okay!" Take a look at the ingredients in a low-carb pudding with 2g of carbohydrates listed.

Water, calcium caseinate (a milk derivative), soy protein isolate, soybean oil, sodium chloride, dipotassium phosphate, artificial flavor, carrageenan, dextrose, tricalcium phosphate, sucralose and acesulfame potassium.

Are you really going to call that food? Gosh I hope not! So just as fish is not always recognized as a meat (happens alot, not sure why though) please remember that fruits and vegetables as well as grains, beans, flour, sugar, and potatoes are all sources of carbohydrates.

*If you need a good reason NOT to eat grains, try reading this manifesto by Whole9. But I've got more. Let me know if you need more links :-)

Forget Breathing!

In the pursuit of perfection sometimes we start to take the basics for granted. We work on perfecting the snatch's second pull so often we fail to perfect the first pull. We work on linking kipping pullups so much that we neglect our dead hang pullup. We work so hard on simply getting the work done that all the while we forget to consider our breath.

Duh, breathing! It's important!

It was about June of this year when I really started to notice that I was always tired. I could get to work but would drag all day long and have to fight the fluttering eyelids for hours after lunch. It started to scare me, "do I have chronic fatigue? Am I not as healthy as I thought?" Only glitch was that my WOD times weren't failing and my lifts were all going up, which is NOT what I'd expect if I truly had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. So what was going on?

It was about this time that I went to go see a Rolfer for reasons completely unrelated to my fatigue.
*Side note: If you ever have a chance, go see a Rolfer...it's amazing and will change your life!
Anyway, he asked what had brought me in ("I'm a CrossFitter and am starting to feel broken down and tight all over!) and I mentioned the fatigue kind of secondarily. After knowing me for only 20 minutes he said, "oh that's because you're not breathing right." Huh?!

He said that even at that moment I was breathing very shallowly, "through my scalenes," as he called it. My chest was rising as I breathed so I was not getting full breaths! He presumed that I had no energy during the day because of this but that as soon as I got to CrossFit I would start taking deep breaths again (added bonus of doing warm-ups). Of course this perfectly explained why I'd have energy during my workouts and afterwards as well.

I may have actually smacked myself in the forehead at this point.

So from my stupidity comes a lesson for you. If you are excessively tired don't immediately reach for the stimulants or search for the complicated solution. Go back to basics, breathe deep and see if you too were forgetting to breathe.

Dirga Pranayama, aka the Complete Breath or the 3 Part Breath

Sit at the edge of your chair or stand up. First practice breathing in each of the 3-Parts, then connect them into one flowing inhale and exhale for the Complete Breath.

1) Place both hands on your abdomen just near your belly button. Take a deep breath in so that just your belly expands. If you feel your hands move apart and your chest does not rise then you are doing this right. Do this three times.
2) Now place your hands on either side of your rib cage. Take a deep breath in so that just your rib cage expands. Try to expand your rib cage as much as you can with just your lungs. Again, isolate this to your rib cage. Your belly should not expand and your chest should not rise. Do this three times.

3) Now place your hands on your chest, just below the collar bone. Take a deep breath in so you feel your chest rise up into your hands. Do this three times.

Now in one breath try filling your lungs like a wave, starting from the bottom. Let the breath in to expand your belly, then your rib cage, then your chest.  As you exhale the wave retreats. First the chest falls, then the rib cage contracts, then the belly relaxes. This is the Dirga Pranayama, do this three to five times.

**Super Cool Bonus to practicing Dirga Pranayama: This style of deep breathing actually helps stretch the muscles between the ribs (called intercostal muscles) which will help to improve your lung capacity. Athletes like us can surely utilize some increased lung capacity right? 

This is doing yoga and the best part is that you can do this anywhere and at any time. I've done it in line at the grocery store, in my seat at the traffic light, at my desk at work and especially in between sets in a WOD.

Enjoy your new found energy!